Tuesday, March 19, 2013

leannes bones fanfic draft 2



Bones

Part one

It was 9am Dr Brennan rushed to open the door of the Jeffersonian the weather was chilly as she inserted the key into the lock she left icy prints on the glass.

Half an hour later the door opened again and her team came rushing in wrapped in warm clothing which they mostly shredded as they got inside the door.

Brennan turned and addressed her team.

Right today we are going through all the Jane Does in the morgue so we can empty it out but also get them back to there families for a proper burial.

The first Jane Doe was brought up to the lab Brennan pulled on her gloves and got to work.

They sure did a number on you she said to prone figure on the table,Brennan then had to piece the skull  together she then bent over the table and began.


"Dr Brennan" said her assistant Zach Addy

"you have been working on that skull for 3 hours now you should take a break"

Brennan turned and stood up stretching her back.

"I am done take this to Angela and get her to run it through the ID programe so we can put a name to this poor girl"

Brennan handed the skull to Zach and then headed to her office.

Special Agent Seely Booth entered the Jeffersonian he hated the place it reminded him of a hospital anti-septic smell in the air, he scanned his card and walked up the stairs.

"Wheres Brennan he asked Zach

'in her office replied Zach looking up from his micro-scope"

Brennan was working on her computer she looked up when booth knocked and smiled at him.

"Hi

"Hi what are you working on?"

"Paperwork"

"Wanna shut down and come to lunch with me"

"Okay  i'll just get my coat"

Brennan and Booth walked out the office and closed the door behind them.

"Im going to lunch she said to her assistant Zach who just nodded.

Brennan and Booth walked out to the car and got in.

'So where are we going the diner?"

"No i thought we would go to this Italian place i know'

"O okay then"

They arrived at the resturant it was small and there was not many people there at all,there was no one at the entrance so they grabbed a menu and seated themselves.

"O my" said bones "this food all looks really good what shall i pick"

'Its up to you my treat"

The waiter came over they placed their orders and Brennan looked at Booth.

"So you wanted to talk to me about something"

"Yes i wanted to talk about are relationship"

"So that is why you brought me here instead of the diner"

Booth just smiled at her and picked up his napkin and spread it on his lap ,the food arrived and they started eating.
 Brennan didn't realise how hungry she was until the aroma of food hit her nostrils she picked up her fork and dug in.

This is great"

"So about our relationship i recon we should start dating"

Brennan almost choked on her mouthful and looked shocked.

"There are rumours going around the lab that we are going out so might as well make it official"

Brennan looked at Booth blankly.

 "What you have not heard them yet" she shock her head.

"I dont date people i work with, thank you for the nice lunch"

Brennan got up from the table.

I'll think about it, i got to get back to work. with that she pretty much ran out the restaurant and flagged down  a cab.

'Jeffersonian she said to the driver climbing in the back she will have to talk to her best friend Angela and see what she says.

Back at the Jeffersonian Brennan walked into her office where Angela was sitting at her desk she bolted up when Brennan walked in

"So how was your lunch with Booth

"Dosen't anything around her go unnoticed

"no

"He asked me out he said that there where rumours going around the lab that we where going out and we should make it official i told him ill think about it ,then i dont date people i work with"

Brennan looked at Angela who was silent.

"You think i should go for it dont you?"

Angela nodded

"Look at me and Hodgins we are married we started off rocky but now we are so happy and we work together as well"

"Right back to work to you have an ID on my Jane Doe yet?"

'I do meet Claire Davis Angela said bringing up a picture

"Age 24 she went missing in December 2003 her boyfriend reported her missing after she didnt show up or call after a university party police questioned the boyfriend and came up with nothing so the case was cold"

'Pretty girl said Brennan looking at the picture it showed a blonde long haired girl with blue eyes and freckles dotting her nose. yer pity such a young thing too.

Right all there is to do now is to inform the parents that we have found their little girl so they can bury her properly.

'Right well im gonna go home and call Booth says Brennan and tell him my decision ill see you tomorrow

Angela then left the office to go search out Hodgins so they can go home too.

Brennan left the Jeffersonian and walked to her car she unlocked the door and got in started the engine she pulled out the parking lot.

Looking in her rear view mirror she saw a car behind her keeping back two cars but whoever it was must not be very good at tailing as she could easily lose him but she decided she would amuse herself abit longer and let them tail her.

Right want to play she said to the car and swung to the left up an alley before pulling into her driveway looking behind her she couldn't see the car anymore she lost him.

Entering her house Brennan typed in the code for the alarm system then walked to the fridge and got out a bottle of water walking to the couch she sat down and turned on the television to the news and sipped her water.

She set the bottle on the side table, her eyelids drooped she was out like a light.


















2 comments:

  1. Hi Leanne.
    I was interested to read your fanfic as I am a fan of the Temperence Brennan novels. I think this is a good draft but I also think it is a really fast skim over the top eg, she goes to work, deals with challenging situations, has lunch with the potential boyfriend, does a runner, goes back to work, deals with more challenges gets followed by a ?bad guy on her drive home and then falls asleep on the couch.
    You might be better covering less ground but in more detail. Also lack of punctuation renders the dialogue too loose, sentences seem to run into each other.
    I will look forward to your final edit. Cheers Alan

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi
    yer i had to many ideas i probably should cut down thanks for the feedback

    ReplyDelete